.Editor's Details: The observing is actually the text message of a character from Expedition Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reassessing the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't composed significantly regarding specifics of this mission throughout the month I've been actually right here, primarily for pair of main reasons: the 1st being that there has been really little time to accomplish that kind of creating, as well as secondly since I am actually unsure how pleasant I am actually sharing thought and feelings I show to friends and family with the rest of the globe.Properly, clearly the planet modified today. What I claim or carry out is actually quite slight reviewed to the importance of what happened to our country today when it was attacked by ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I suppose. Challenging to understand at whom to drive our rage and anxiety ...I had actually only ended up a lot of tasks this morning, the absolute most time-consuming being the physical exams of all crew members. In a private conversation complying with that, the air travel doctor told me they were actually having a really bad day on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He illustrated the situation to me as absolute best he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was made speechless, at that point terrified. My 1st thought and feelings was that this had not been an actual discussion, that I was still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It simply really did not seem to be feasible on this incrustation in our nation. I could not also picture the details, also before the headlines of further destruction started can be found in.Vladimir visited quite rapidly, picking up that something very serious was being covered. I swayed Michael in to the element at the same time. They were actually also amazed and also stunned. After our experts signed off, I tried to describe to Vladimir and also Michael as finest I could the potential enormity of this act of fear in midtown Manhattan as well as at the Pentagon. They clearly knew and were actually really sympathetic.I eyed the Planet Map on the personal computer to find where over the globe our team were and also observed that our team were coming southeast out of Canada as well as would be skipping New England in a couple of minutes. I whized around the terminal till I found a window that will give me a sight of NYC as well as nabbed the closest electronic camera. It happened to become a video camera, and also I was actually looking southern from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to possess an odd blossom to it at the foundation of the pillar that was streaming south of the metropolitan area. After going through one of the newspaper article our team only obtained, I believe our experts were considering NY around the moment of, or even quickly after, the crash of the 2nd tower. Exactly how horrible ...I panned the cam the whole time the East Shore to the south to observe if I might view any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, however nothing at all showed up.It was actually pretty tough to think about job after that, though we possessed some to do, but on the next orbit our team went across the United States additional south. All three of us were working one or two cameras to try to get sights of New York or even Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details resource can be observed. Everything appeared extraordinary from two to three hundred miles away. I can not think of the terrible scenes on the ground.Other than the mental influence of our country being dealt with and lots of our citizens as well as maybe some good friends being gotten rid of, the best difficult feeling being where I am actually is among solitude.Next day ... I think the fatigue as well as psychological tension got the best of me. I could not remain awake and also continue to create. Today was still difficult, but our company began receiving additional info, plus we had the respect of talking directly with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured our team that the ground teams would certainly continue to function and also guarantee our protection, as well as the risk-free function of the Station. Our team likewise learnt through our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who included that the companions in the Program are actually all absolutely devoted to proceeding safe procedures as well as support. These were actually never ever inquiries for me. I know all these individuals! The ground groups have been very encouraging, really understanding of the impact of the updates, as well as have tried to be as practical as achievable. They have actually all been really professional as well as concentrated though I can not envision the diversion of this form of updates being available in and the idea that authorities buildings may be in jeopardy. They never ever bypassed a beat, even when relocating control centers. As well as a team of senior staffs and close friends gave our company a pretty detailed rundown on what was actually recognized and what was being performed in the government and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was quite handy as well as type of all of them to accomplish in the midst of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually supporting and valuable, trying to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were unusable, as well as claiming kind words ...My crewmates have actually been actually great, too. They know it's been a challenging day for me as well as the folks on the ground, and also they've tried to be as also keeled as well as helpful as possible. Michael also fixed me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. As well as they give me loads of room to presume when I needed it. They are actually quite considerate and also obviously outraged at whoever would certainly do this.I know so many people in Washington, a lot of folks who travel to DC and also NYC, many who are actually flies, that I experienced sure I will get at the very least a few items of problem over the following handful of times. I received the first one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines jet that attacked the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I found Chic during cadet summer months when we were in the D&B with each other, as well as we possessed considerable amounts of lessons all together. I can not imagine what he has to of undergone, and now I listen to that he might possess increased even further than we can also think of by perhaps avoiding his airplane from being actually the one to attack the White Home. What an awful reduction, yet I make sure Chic was actually battling bravely throughout. And also tears do not flow the exact same in space ...It's difficult to describe exactly how it feels to become the only American entirely off the world at once such as this. The emotion that I should be there along with all of you, coping with this, aiding in some way, is frustrating. I know that our company get on the threshold (or past) of an awful switch in the past of the world. Many points will definitely certainly never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the thousands as well as hundreds of people straight affected by these horrendous actions of violence, however perhaps for everybody. Our experts are going to locate our own selves experiencing in a different way about loads of things, featuring most likely space exploration, regrettably.It's awful to see smoke putting coming from wounds in your personal nation coming from such an excellent point of view. The dichotomy of being on a space probe committed to improving life on the planet as well as viewing life being actually ruined by such planned, awful acts is actually jolting to the mind, despite that you are. And the knowledge that whatever are going to be actually various than when our company launched by the time our experts land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our nation and also in our leadership that our team are going to do every little thing possible to much better safeguard her and our family members, and also to bring compensation for what has actually been actually carried out. I have assurance that the really good people at NASA will definitely do whatever needed to continue our goal properly as well as return our team properly at the right time. As well as I miss every one of you significantly. I can't be there with you personally, and our experts have a very long way to visit finish our purpose, but be actually specific that my center is actually along with you, as well as understand you are in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last letter ... Thankfully, it is actually been an active week up below. As well as to show that, like our nation, we are actually advancing our intended course with business as usual (as long as achievable). Tonight the most up to date addition to the place, the Russian Docking Area are going to be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (United States opportunity), it will certainly dock along with our company, at a port certainly never utilized just before on the nadir edge of the Service Component. This brand new module will definitely offer our team an additional place to dock an Improvement or Soyuz as well as will offer a sizable airlock with pair of useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our team are going to do a few of just before our company return.The issue just before in coping with this week was insufficient information. The problem now is actually way too much. It came simultaneously when e-mail was repaired, and also there is actually insufficient time to review it all! Plus it is actually as well tough to deal with all of it at once. But I enjoy getting it, and also I definitely appreciate the excellent letters of assistance as well as companionship I am getting.Our experts are actually flourishing on board, acquiring our work done, as well as talking about points. Final night we had a lengthy dialogue over supper concerning the implication of these celebrations, the possible actions to observe, and also what ought to be carried out. After supper, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he acquired from good friends in Russia stated exclusively to tell me exactly how regretful they were actually that this occurred, prolonging their acknowledgements, as well as asking how I was actually doing. Vladimir educated me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Urban area. (Both the Russian and the English phrases are actually a lot too long to articulate easily.) Very kind folks.For the last pair of days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to transfer real-time shows of radio news about the event and connected stories, to make certain I was properly educated. Every professional who has actually begun the line to review an operation or a concern has at some point extended greetings to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed us that because of the special day of recognition in the United States, all day people had actually been actually delivering flowers as well as lining all the walls of the US embassy in Moscow, and also this evening they were actually lighting candle lights in the street outside the consular office. How the globe has actually transformed.People just about everywhere appear to realize the senselessness as well as terror within this strike. And also the significant reduction. Moscow has actually taken care of these sort of troubles in the last couple of years with condo and train battles, so they are actually as anxious to eliminate this risk as our team are actually. However the bottom product line is actually that there are great individuals almost everywhere who wish to reside in tranquility. I check out that a little one asked, "America is actually therefore good to other nations, our experts regularly assist everybody, exactly how can they loathe our team a great deal?".I hope the example of participation and trust fund that this space probe and all people in the course demonstrate daily are going to sooner or later motivate the remainder of the planet to function the same way. They must!Regrettably, our team won't be flighting over the United States while folks are igniting candles. Do not know if our experts could find that anyhow. Our experts carried out, nevertheless, see an extremely unique as well as beautiful sight a few moments ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. Our team were actually eclipsing it and also it emerged about 3 mins after its launch from Baikonur as the sunlight reached our terminal, so it was actually still unaware. It seemed like a sizable comet with a directly, large rear silhouetted against the black planet beneath. Even with some bad illumination for some time as the sun attacked our home window at a low angle, I managed some video clip of it as to begin with our team passed the rocket, and afterwards saw it start to catch up as it acquired elevation and also speed. I recorded up until principal engine deadline and booster splitting up occurred equally our team came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. An unforgettable view in a memorable week ...Lifestyle goes on, even in space. We are actually right here to remain ... Frank.